Transiting Pluto has always been very good to me. Never easy, mind you, but always enjoyable in a ruthless, teeth baring, I can’t tell whether this is pain or pleasure but I don’t care kind of way. Still, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when Pluto entered my 12th and inexorably began making its way toward my natal sun. I had read about the transit over the years and the themes of becoming reclusive, feeling repulsive to others and attracting negativity from others remained in my mind.
I have to say that I have found these themes to be right on the money. Due to unforseen circumstances, I am sometimes extremely socially isolated and to be honest, I prefer it. The precious few whom I can tolerate offer clues as to the emotional needs of this transit, which is an attitude of openness, acceptance and forgiveness which seems to be in short supply these days. I can be very unpleasant to be around and I have no interest in changing this. I’m domineering, castigating, completely insensitive. Take it or leave it, love. If you leave, I won’t take offense.
Each day, I begin to feel more intensely unlikeable, truly abject. There is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from all my weaknesses and faults and ugliness and the only place I can seek some kind of respite is to sink further down and take this transit and conjunction to the hilt.
I’d be lying if I said this transit doesn’t feel fucking amazing. Amazing in a demanding, exhausting, self destructive way that I imagine must be extremely unpleasant for most people. But as a 12th house sun, you might say that the prospect of self annihilation kind of excites me. I was born to do this, you see. The light that everyone loves is altogether too harsh, glaring and unforgiving to me now. Extinguished by Pluto, your pupils can relax and yawn wide open. And you’ll fucking see things you’ve never seen before.
In regard to what exactly I am going through, I’m not interested in writing about it. Instead, I will share some generalized tips I’ve picked up along the way that I hope will be useful to readers going through the same transit:
Tip: Deceive others if you must, but do not deceive yourself. Not everyone gets a chance to draino their unconscious; do not fucking waste this opportunity trying to deny, rationalize or evade your abject self. Show yourself a little respect, please.
Tip: On a related note, you need to know how to befriend yourself. Your psyche is being taken to a rolling boil and when things calm down, that’s when the scum rises to the top and you scare everyone around you. Don’t fuck up this process by hanging on to stupid shit like ideas about the kind of person you think you are. Be with reality. Accept the scum and stare it down with a compassionate zen-like gaze. Only then will you understand your sins. I use the term not in a religious sense, but in every way you’ve missed the mark.
Tip: Take this chance to explore a new range of intense, emotional sensations without getting caught up in them. Greed, jealousy, vengefulness, pettiness, pride, murderousness, what have you. You’ll be fine; you are not your feelings.
Tip: As an adult, you have a responsibility to keep your shit together. You don’t have to be nice to others and you don’t even have to be pleasant, but you should remain civil, fair and ethical. Feeling extreme emotions is one thing. Acting on them and letting them guide your behaviour toward unethical acts is another matter entirely. If you have not been working on being an ethical person up to this point and Pluto is now bearing down on your 12th house sun… I don’t envy you in the slightest.
Tip: While most people might find you repulsive, remember that their shit stinks just as much as yours – they just don’t have Pluto rubbing their noses in it everyday.
Tip: You may also find that a certain contingent of people will become attracted to you. A lot. Roll with it and be grateful for it. You may not feel this way, but you are not so much unlikeable as you are polarizing. With Pluto transiting 12th/sun, you become more powerful and power, especially this kind of power from abjectness, often has a polarizing effect – it attracts or repels and in some cases, does both simultaneously.
Tip: If you’re like me, you’ll soon figure out who your real friends are. For me, suddenly everything racked focus and my friends became divided into two camps: the ones I knew would accept and love me for all my abjectness and the ones who couldn’t/wouldn’t. Of course people are more complicated than this. But to be seen in all your abjectness and still offered friendship? I cannot emphasize how valuable this is.
Tip: Go easy on your friends. Get away from them if need be. And if you are fed up, stay away. I’ve been spending a lot of time forcing myself out the door and faking nice and have concluded that this is a colossal waste of time unless absolutely necessary.
Tip: Get used to functioning on less sleep. Insomnia is a common experience for this transit. I have so much energy and yet am often completely exhausted.
Tip: Yoga, meditation and sex will be intensified. Enjoy.
That’s all I’ve got for now. Sorry if you’re anticipating this transit and this post disturbs you. Actually, I’m not fucking sorry at all. Good luck.
Elsa has written a series of posts about the transit here.